June 2010
18 posts
the final goodbye.
This piece of writing took me a long time. And to pen this I summoned a lot of courage.
I know what consequences this might bring. To make something so private, this public, is death-seeking equivalent to me. I chewed on taking this step for months, since to be very much honest, I am afraid of what others would think of me after this. I am extremely self-conscious…and by publishing this piece of writing, it is being stark naked and standing in the scrutiny of the public.
However…I want to stop feeling sad over this. I want to stop analysing everything. I want to stop remembering the loss and feel the hurt. I want to put an end to this mess of mine. I want my new dawn.
So, here it goes.
Maybe to others it might seem like it is nothing much. Maybe to others it might seem that I should have gotten over it a very long time ago. Maybe to others, by writing this, I seem like a nutter who is filled with nothing but resentment and bitterness.
Maybe to you, I would seem to be someone who is raving mad.
Hey ex-bestfriend, I shouldn’t be bothered about you already, shouldn’t I?
finally some text post that’s truely reBlog worthy. :)
” I wrote countless of things. Blogged and Tumblred snippets of my feelings time to time. I tried to reach you in these subtle means. Hoping all that is presented; you would at least, have an idea of how much I was hurting, and do something about it “
no guy will take the hint. some are just completely insensitive and they dont bother. I realise that when someone dont give a shit about you, why should you too? You dont deserve such treatment, WE DON’T DESERVE SUCH TREATMENT. Being abuse, I should have wake up and see that they don’t care for you even as a friend.
Easy to say that I’ll/We’ll move on, but deep down, we know that it’s not completely possible.
I’ll just continue praying, but I will not be made use of anymore, I will not help or bother anymore. Call me heartless, but until I see humility when asking for help, until I can see that you’ve learnt that in life, showing off is not everything, and that you don’t need expensive, materialistic things in life to make people like you or be attracted to you, and stop putting other people down, then you come to me. But right now, some guy’s ego is just too damn big and one day you’ll realise that. May not be today, tomorrow, the day after or even after you read this. But when you do, oh boy, I wonder what in the world will make such a thing happen. I pray you won’t suffer too much.
I discovered something!
Wow, so it’s true, all the classic rock/country/latin/”elvis era” singers are related!
I wrote a damn long entry on how people are link. But I’ll just cut short
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Ritchie Valens, died in an airplane crash ,with Buddy Holly and “The Big Booper”.
Ritchie Valens and “The Big Booper” wasn’t suppose to be on that plane.
The story is Buddy Holly chartered a plane for his bandmates nia and got limited space.
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(Buddy Holly’s bandmate)Waylon Jennings gave up his seat to “The Big Booper”
Ritchie Valens fliped a coin with Tommy Allsup (Buddy Holly’s bandmate) and won his seat.
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Waylon Jennings is Johnny Cash room mate. And Waylon Jennings’s son protrayed as his father(younger times) in Johnny Cash movie “Walk the Line”
Tommy Allsup worked with Roy Orbison before.
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When Ritchie, Buddy and Booper died, this guy call Bobby Vee music career started, inspired from Buddy Holly. And the link with this dude? A musician toured with his band, he is now call BOB DYLAN.
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Btw, Johnny Cash jamed with Elvis Presley before, it was impromtu session.
And they were all doing drugs, Buddy Holly, Elvis etc etc. shown in a movie before, i forgot which one.
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I’m just so faciniated by all these
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“
guy #1: your best friend. he’s there for you, always. he would never let you down, cares about you, comforts you when you’re down, protects you when you’re put down. he would never betray you. keep him.
guy #2: the player. you can’t help but to fall for him. he seems to do everything right, so you think you love him. in the end, you find out he played you, lied to you, used you, and probably didn’t really even care about you. forget him.
guy #3: the enemy. the one who would do anything just to bring you down. he’ll humiliate you, judge you, embarrass you, anything he can do just to make you feel smaller than what you are. ignore him.
guy #4: your soul mate. often turns out to be you’re best friend. he tells you how it is, even if you don’t want to hear the truth. he’ll hold you, kiss you, protect you, and love you no matter what. you can talk to him about anything. he’ll see you at your worst and still think you’re beautiful. he’s there for you no matter what. love him.
” —Sometimes
Sometimes I envy her, got good boyfriend, gone into a good school, very cute and lovable face. all happy go lucky. cool
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Sometimes I wonder, if the action and words meant something. Or was it just a friendly/caring gusture and i’m thinking too much into it.
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Sometimes I wish, I know what I want,
Sometimes i wish i know my purpose here,
Sometimes I wish I have someone other than my family members I can trust/depend on no matter what,
Sometimes I wish I have preserverance,
Sometimes I wish I have you.
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take away the Sometimes i wish and you got yourself a I Believe. Faith.
God Bless
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